hi people was wondering if there was anyone out there with a similar amount of weight to lose as me...?..thought it would be good to encourage and support each other in weight loss....and attain our goals..

WHY I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT>>>...I would like to

feel good in a bikini again?
feel comfortable,confident and sexy (healthy body healthy mind?)
get fit /feel toned
to wear clothes in wardrobe that used to fit
to participate in life again..not be a side lined watcher.
say yes to invitations..
to be slim healthy and active
I dont want to be a statistic ...obese and diabetic..i've seen first hand where that leads..parents diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.heart/kidney /bladder trouble...then my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year under went major abdominal surgery..with all post op complications..my cousin is fighting to save her leg from being amputated..she's already lost her toes..this is the reality of diabetes!!! whilst visiting hospiatal saw man my age with liver failure...(i drink too much) I DONT WANT DIABETES <HEART DISEASE>STROKE>CANCER>LIVER FAILURE>DEPRESSION
everytime something gets me down /angry/upset i eat or drink..
.
i need to make long lasting permanent lifestyle changes..not just diet..I'm sick of the depression...and this cycle of avoiding social contact because i'm so ashamed i've let myself get into this state..i'm hurting my friends and family by keeping them at arms length..and hurting myself by denying myself their love and support/company..self exclusion..

I dont want to be obsessed by the way i look and feel and just get on with enjoying life and not let it pass me by..somewhere along the line i've allowed my self to think like a "fat "person..where's that enthusiaistic,competitive,sparkly,athletic,asserti ve achiever... gone??

I want to be proud of myself..to feel like the real me..fulfill my true potential..be happy in myself and with my life..
i want my family to feel proud of me..my sister says she wants her sister back..
I want to dance and laugh and ski and run...and swim...climb..dive..fly..go horse riding..i want to prance about in sexy underwear and know i look good..
I want to be a success story..
I want to allow love into my life..
I want to like the way i look and feel...i want to love myself..and be able to love others and allow myself to be loved..
I want to feel energetic..
so i failed on the fat and forty thing so i want to be 50 and fabulous!


i'm tired of hating myself,of feeling self-conscious,not having enough sex!,of not wanting sex,tired of being tired,tired of wasting precious years hiding cos i'm fat!,of not enjoying the beach, of not looking beautiful, of having complexes,want to feel good about myself..and not give myself such a hard time...
feel like i've been killing myself slowly..
want to act like a slim person...then become one...(cant believe i'm saying this stuff!) i want to get compliments and accept them and agree with them!
i dont want to be invisible..
i want more than 2 pairs of jeans that well almost fit..

finally i know i want these things for me...not for anyone else but for me...i know its more about issues with warped thinking and attitude ,they need changing as well as diet and activity...boosting self confidence and self worth...healthy diet leads to balnced thinking and a more positive outlook..letting go of your addiction to food and drink and inactivity and laziness....means you have to deal with your fears and anxieties.. thoughts and feelings..food/drink can be an emotional crutch...
anger/ fear/ anxiety/ boredom.food=.distraction..i want to fit in..
i can jump out of a plane but i find it difficult to take that leap of faith in myself...

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF WOODY ALLEN:-" I WANT TO SKI DOWN A MOUNTAIN LAUGHING LIKE AN IDIOT!"

Hi Jane,

I've lost 4 stone in the last year and have another stone or so to go. I feel much better and it's really nice to be able to wear pretty much anything I fancy. It's much nicer when you go out to think about about what looks good rather than what fits.

I'm now in in the position of knowing that people will not look at me and think - fat bloke - but you need to be aware that it doesn't solve everything and that you may face new challenges which relate to you as a person rather than how you look.

Your post is painfully honest and self aware. When I was fat I found the real challenge was dealing with day to day issues and problems whilst being focussed on becoming the person that I wanted to be and perhaps this is your position as well.

You sound like a nice person who wants to be different. Good luck!



Jon

Dear Jane Up

I wish you all the best . I myself manage to lose 3 stone 2 years ago . But the last year was not a good year . well i am goin to the gym 2x a day
hopefully will be losing 2kg next week (: again good luck you can do it!

Hi Jon.
well done on attaining your goals and thanks for replying...

its weird that yes i'm good at being honest with myself...and self aware but also that i'm capable of self delusion/denial.!!..on a grand scale too..i mean its only recently that i THINK of myself as fat..whilst I BEHAVE like a fat person..hmmm...strange..!
i think the main thing about being reclusive is that i get to kid myself/ and others (or so i think..) that I'm the same slim athletic girl i used to be..I am but she's trapped deep inside..

and yes.. the real challenge is dealing with life..day to day issues/probs...whilst remaining focused on the real prize...not being distracted by short term rewards..
good luck to you too!
Jane

hi ruby thanks for your reply to my post...

yes thing is even though we can achieve impressive results and weight loss.. its about long term change... not about going on a diet to lose weight then going back to old habits.... have to consistently keep up the good work..create new long term habits and lifestyle changes..

i know all the theories! i have to let go of all my acquired and ingrained bad lifestyle habits...to attain long term success and happiness...

hmm...better get on with it!!

Jane

Hello fellow dieter!

I've also got 4 stone to lose - hoping to do it by my birthday at the end of July, which works out about 2lb a week. Being a bloke, I don't hope to look good in a bikini, but wouldn't mind looking a little more like Daniel Craig than Mr Blobby in a pair of trunks. Most of your other thoughts and comments apply to me too - and really, life is too short to not get fit and healthy, be beautiful and get the most out of life. So, let's put up with some short term pain for the long term gain - control what we eat, go all out to be active, and the weight should slowly but steadily start to go, and every pound we lose will make us feel increasingly good about ourselves, give us more energy, and make life all the sweeter.

Are you with me?!

Ian

right on brother...lets go for it...this is what i'm talking about!!

ye ha!

Hi

Hi

I have a bit more than 4 stone to lose - but I have to start somewhere. Today was my first day and my hubby has just come home saying he fancies some cake - just what I don't want to here. Does anyone else have a partner who is not being very supportive...or is it just me??

Help!

Sunshinesam x

hi sunshinesam...

well i guess that's where the desire and determination to achieve your goals come in..you have to do it for you.and stay focused on what YOU want ..I know its easier said than done..!..maybe try thinking of it as a gift to yourself (saying no./.willpower).. in order to achieve your long term goal...??..you'll feel so much better if you stick to it...rather than giving in to something that doesnt taste all that good anyway!!

but i agree would be easier if you didnt have someone sabotaging your efforts..dont worry soon he'll stop talking about it once he realises you mean business!...he'll have to get his own cake!!...say you'll have an even better treat for him in a few months time... a slim happy sexy wife wrapped up in new lingerie!

Good luck!

I've 4 stone to lose as well really because I wnat to be fit nothing else. I need all the support Ican get and give!!

Thanks for you message Jane

Just knowing there are going to people here going through the same thing is going to help. Its going to be a long journey - but hopefully not too difficult!

Good luck today everyone xx

Sam

Hi Jane, That sounds so so familiar. I have set my target at losing just over 3 stone, as that will get me out of the Obese and down to merely overweight The I need to think about losing another 1 1/2 otr two stone after that! The thought of Diabetes scres me wittless!

I have recently found a book which concentrates on NOT weight, but why there is a problem, and talks about learning to love yourself NOW, not when you have lost weight (8 Minutes a day to weight loss for real shapesetc Jorge Cruise). The principle is that a mere 8 minutes of Resistance exercises each morning will build muscle to burn fat faster, And each morning you concentrate on loving yourself and improvong your selfesteem. You eat lots of vegetables to fill yourself up, but nothing is forbidden. I got my copy on ebay quite cheaply.

I can't say how effective it is, I am only now starting the programme, but I am hoping that it will be better than obsessing about diets and calorie counting.

The Independent last weekend also did a bity on the No Diet Diet, which seems to be roughly the same principle but I didn't read that in detail

Good Luck

jane, you have been in my head, and you have written down my thoughts!

its soo hard. i have done it before, and i need to do it again.

but i need help this time.

Hi,
I need to lose just over three stone, to be happy with myself again.
I find it so hard though, because whenever anything goes slightly wrong in my life the first thing I do is turn to food or alcohol.

I have never really tried to stick to a diet or anything before, as they all seem too complicated or time consuming. I find these hard because I work 39 hours a week at an italian restauraunt (surrounded by food, not much help!) and the rest of the week I am at university doing a food related course, so have to taste products and make new ones (and no, I have no idea how I manage to fit all this in to a normal week!).

I also have the problem that my boyfriend is trying really hard to put on weight (I hate him, the more he eats the thinner and more toned he seems to become!) so whenever I'm with him he's constantly snacking, which makes it really hard for me.

I'm trying to stick to eating lots of fruit and vegetables and not eating cheese, sweets, cakes, chocolates and biscuits, and seriously cutting down the amount of alcohol I consume, and I feel a bit better in myself, but havent really noticed any results yet. I would try and go to the gym or do some running or something, but I never seem to have any time free!

Does anybody have any suggestions?

Kayleigh

Hi everyone!

Thanks for your replies..its really good to have some company in this..we can adopt an all round approach to this..ie not just focus on the weight and scales..(shut those whingeing about it all being about weight up!)..but also on fitness... mental/emotional as well as physical..incorporate different things from different plans..change our lifestyles and outlooks AND our bodies!!..I've just bought one of those scales (from lloyds pharmacies reduced from £40 to £15 & £10 respectively))which reads your BMI and body fat percentage..it also reads your optimum calorie intake and water levels..so if you dont lose weight you can see if your 're making progress in other ways.!

Yes LORNA I've also been reading about the No-diet diet..and it does make sense..makes sense to deflect your mind from just focusing on weight yourself...and expand your activities/life in other ways..

we do need to address reasons why we turn to food/alcohol for comfort..in times of stress and upset..probably a psychological/physical/emotional reason why we do it.. maybe when we cried as kids/babies we were given food? ..to shut us up!..and not allowed to talk it through?..or something like that..but we have to learn to respond differently..that's why exercise is so important because we can exercise our emotions out and feel better afterwards..
if you make correct food choices will feel calmer and more positive too..when you're in "good blood sugar" feel alot calmer..

Kayleigh..well done for sticking to your guns and eating veggies and fruit..and i understand how difficult to be around man who's constantly snacking..but if you listen to your own body eventually you'll realise when you're hungry..and accept you have different bodies..as regards exercise..have you tried the old addage of...getting off the bus earlier?..brisk walking....?? just trying to fit extra activity into your life?..i remember when i was at my fittest and most active I used to do a very hard working day..(had my own business)..and then go to the gym!..they all thought i was mad..but the exercise gave me more energy..to achieve and do more...see i know all the theory..well almost..but its putting it into practise thats' the problem..!

so have a good day everyone..look forward to hearing from you..
jane
x

Hi Jane

From another Jane. I just wanted to send a few words of encouragement to you and everyone who wants to turn their lives around and get fit and healthy. I have achieved this over the past four years and it feels great. I still surprise myself when I climb up a hill without getting all puffed out and stressed like I used to.

As soon as you really commit to healthy eating and exercise that suits you you will start to feel the benefits.

I really feel Rosemary Conley offers the best healthy eating advice with low fat, moderate carbs and protein foods.

Good luck everyone

Jane

I have lost 4 stone and have another 4 to lose, now that I have hit this halfway mark I am sure I will be able to reach my goal but it is still easy sometimes to feel that it is too much of a challenge, we are only human after all.

My advice is to find a healthy eating programme which suits you, stick to it as much as possible but always remember that if you do slip it is not the end of the world and you just have to climb back on the horse. As you lose weight you will feel more positive and be able to keep going.

For the lady who says her husband is not being supportive, don't let him sabbotage your efforts, he may be trying to tempt you but you can choose to ignore him and when he sees you are serious he will stop especially when he starts to see how great you are looking and what losing weight is doing for your confidence because believe me when the fat starts dropping off your self esteem soars.

Onwards and upwards everyone.

Kate

Hi All!

I need to lose more than 4 stone.

I used to focus on all the drawbacks of being obese. Thinking about it was depressing, so I used to drink. And guess what that did for my weight!

Now I'm focussing on the good things about being lighter Let's see what happens!

Good luck to you all. I'll keep watching

Mike

Wow

Evening Guys

What a bunch of great peeps there are out there. Good luck with weight losses. I'm sure we will all gain inspiration from one another. I feel motivated already and I'm suffering from one of the dreaded lurgy's going around at the moment!

Hope to catch up with some of you soon

Sam xxxx

Hi Jane and everyone else,

I have lost almost a stone with another 4 to go. Jane, your post almost made me cry, it sounds so much like me.
I'm feeling postitve this time, I'm forty on Sunday and it seems a good time to make a stand.
You have cheered me up in funny way, god I've been so grumpy this week.......

Jeanette

Hi fellow losers, or would be losers. I'm a would be, but soon to be a loser!
I aim to lose 4st 7lb by my birthday in November. I'm no spring chicken so my battle to lose weight has been life-long. I am an expert on nutrition, and walk and swim regularly. So, what's my problem? Binging!
I'm determined to be in control of food, rather than food being in control of me. I'm using various strategies this time and hope I have found the succcessful combination. I'm following a self-help C.B.T. programme which entails keping a total food diary every day and also using techniques from the Paul McKenna "I can make you thin" programme".
I have a feeling that 2008 could be the year I succeed.
I'd welcome support from anyone out there who feels the same.
Good Luck to you all.

Good Luck Isobel

I eat at work because I get bored stuck in front of a PC so I'm taking fruit in with me - if I'm hungry then I will make myself eat the fruit - I know its not the same as the biscuits or chocolate - but lets face it - if we are really truly hungry we will eat what is in front of us - there are lots of reasons why we eat too much or the wrong things (or both!!!) and losing weight is also about changing our food concepts - for it to work it has to be a life long thing and not going with the muscle weighs more than fat - that only works when you are lean.
So lets make 2008 the year of lean...for us!

So get losing...losers x

Sam x

Hey Ive got just over 4 stone to loose and can also relate to what you said jane. Ive been keeping a daily food dairy and trying to walk more though i know I can be more active and plan on walking more n joining an aquaaerobics class in the next week or so. I may also do an exercise dvd a week, I lent 2 from myt sister n havent got round to it yet. I have a 9 month old son who doesnt sleep well on a night n i dont have the energy. I know i need to get it though! Even if its just walking to the park withthe kids.

Ive lost weight before but have put it back on again, I want to try n be more active to achieve this.

dear all
just hit 50 and hope to turn round the years of feeling unhappy about my weight. I am at my heaviest and am suffering with a bad back - but I am feeling really positive at the moment - just eating healthy and increasing my walking each day. Starting with small steps but hopefullly on the road to success. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone and that there are many people out there that understand!! Losing 4/5 stone would be fantastic but seems too be too much to hope for/achieve. I can only hope to loose a few pounds and take it in small losses
Jane V - how much have you lost?
Jane UP - how honest are you????
ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT SLIM PEOPLE JUST DON'T SEEM TO BE BOTHERED BY FOOD?
my theory is that it's all about your mental state - positivity and self worth/belief. Anyway todays quote is
we should count time in heart throbs
good luckto us all, lizzi
x

Have we got a group to join folks or are we just supporting each other via this thread?

Hi Lizzie B

I have lost 4 stone since my heaviest weight. I have always found going from a size 18 to size 20 is somewhere I have just not been prepared to go so have yo yoed between that and my current size 10-12 in clothes.

I found a brilliant book which deals with the emotional aspects of why we over eat. It is titled Slim By Suggestion by Ros Collier. I found it really helpful

Jane V

Hi Jane Up

I too have got to lose four stone to get me near to a healthy weight. I have been overweight since my teens and I can't honestly remember being slim. I totally understand where you are coming from and hope that we can support each other during the coming months. I know that members of my family use food as a comfort and I've learnt that from them. I too can be very honest but also be in denial about what is really going on. I am paranoid about fatty liver disease, heart disease, stroke etc but it clearly doesn't frighten me enough to do something positive about my health. I am a sensitive soul who eats her worry, anxiety and anger away. It is a vicious circle but I know I need to get my finger out and shift some lard. It is not only making me feel depressed but it is effecting other aspects of my life. I can't go on like this anymore. I am hiding behind it and using my weight as a shield. Anyway thank you for your honesty. I was touched by what you wrote and I feel better knowing I am not alone in this. I wish you well with your fitness/weight loss and hope that you will see positive changes in your life. If you or anyone else wants to become motivational buddies with me please just send me a message.
Gaylex

hi everyone!

thanks for your posts great to read your thoughts/ replies..in particular to jeanette who has done so well..lizzie b and jane v..and sam

seems we're getting a group of people together who want to attain similar goals?!!..shall we think of a good name for a group?...although there seems to be similar groups there?..i'd like to think of a more positive name as opposed to something..negative..like couch potato group or...getting skinny...cos that seems to focus on weight and negative habits?...any suggestions?..

this is first time i've started a thread..so not sure how it works...

keep up the good work everyone.!!
..i'm going to weigh myself on monday...to see how i'm doing?..(i've left my new scales at my parents..)..just been taking it fairly slow at first not rushing in to anything too heavy at the mo..but have given up booze cakes sweets etc... drinking more water.watching food portions...been walking 30 -50 mins every day..so hope to see some progress...

look forward to your suggestions for a name and also your results!!...gulp...I better stick to it !..this is what its about.isnt it..commiting to yourself and to others?..

catch you soon..bye for now..
jane
xx

Right folks,

I've just read this thread, and I am motivated - Thanks for starting it off Jane.

I am 16 stone now, and was under eleven ten years ago when I got married. I have my excuses, but thats all they are now, excuses - I need to forget them and move on.

My wife is supporting me all the way; she came back from the shops with healthy stuff, and is supervising me while I eat it.

I want to make it back to my eleven stone weight, I want to be healthy and live long enough to see my boys grow into men and make me proud of them. I want to run in the Dads race at School Sports day.

Come on ladies and Gents - we can do this!

Paul.