Please don't lock this thread, Brenda. It's one of the most useful I've read.



I can't tell you how many times I've used this excuse in the past. There's also the one about

"well it's the weekend and I've been good all week, so I'll treat myself"

and

"there's no point starting the new diet until Monday, so I might as well eat up all this stuff I won't be able to eat then".

Note how the last one is two excuses in one!

But no more excuses: I don't do that any more.

oh no don't lock it - I replied when you first put the post up and read the responses to it ever since - it comes into my mail box - just didn't really feel i could add anymore - but its something I come and read over and over - just for the inspiration

Sam x

I have two birthdays coming up (no, not both mine, I am not the Queen). First my daughter's and then mine a week later. I am going to eat cake and drink and be merry and forget the diet for a day or two. Will I regret it when I look on the scales? You betcha. But will I regret it more if I obsess about calories too much on the birthdays? Definitely. I will take a spectacular and painful fall off the bandwagon but then leap back on with enthusiasm.

Just having read all the posts on this thead, this is a reply for Goesona Bit posted 20 Jan. Your message seems to suggest that you are overweight. You make an 'off hand'comment at the end of your message "after all slim people don't think about food 24/7 like I do." How do you know? If you have ever been in a state of slimness then according to you you wouldn't be thinking about food and therefore not having a problem by overeating. Most slim people stay slim because they have got the self control not to over eat or they do enough exercise to burn off the calories that they don't need to maintain their weight. That doesn't mean that it is easy to maintain a slim appearance and it certainly doesn't mean that they don't have to try. You sound as though you're looking for sympathy because you've got no will power and its easy to comment that it's ok for others because they don't have to try. You're deluded - slim people do watch their weight, they probably just don't go on about it in public.

hi my names paul is this weight thing a female only club/ HAS anyone tried a spot of weight training tones the whole body plus rowing indoors on a c2 rower works all the body too see mat roberts work outs times health club for ideas just remember fat or thin just smile beauty is from within paul m

Definitely not a female only club. I haven't tried weight training simply because the weights section in my gym is in front of a big mirror and I can't get near them for all the men and testosterone! Just kidding. The big mirror does put me off. A weak excuse, I know. I do use the rowing machine though.

I love doing the weights, as I have had better results in the past using free weights. It's great if you do them in between sessions of cardio as it keeps your heart rate up. I just grit my teeth and think of all the women in the gym it's unlikely that anyone will be interested in looking at me and then I have a laugh as I watch some of the men posing and eyeing up each others muscles. hee, hee.

In the lexicon of supportive comments, this probably comes a sound bottom. Applying the term 'deluded' to someone in a forum which is actively working to support other members of the forum is neither constructive or appreciative of the spirit of the board. This may be the only place people feel comfortable in expressing how they feel, and whilst I agree it may be nieve to suppose that 'thin' people don't consider food 24-7, on balance I feel your reaction was somewhat OTT. Apply some respect.

And before you have a go at me, I suggest you compare profiles. We're both aiming to lose the same amount of weight and are therefore broadly comparable. I've sounded off in here about things holding me back and had nothing but support.

I'm trying to make gradual changes so i don't burn out and give up - the weight crept on gradually so I expect it to go away gradually too. I want to adopt a healthy way of eating that becomes habit rather than a quick fix...
But I am fed up of reading 'true diet stories' of people that lost stones just by cutting out x
I already eat fairly healthily - ok there must be some problem for me to be a bit overweight, but i don't have fast food, alcohol, chocolate, butter, fried stuff, cheese, full fat anything! etc
Stories I read they must be under stating how much exercise they now do, or over exagerating what they eat, no matter how many diets/exercise I've tried in past the weight doesn't shift - just sometimes more toned, clearer skin etc.
(No thyroid problems when checked whilst pregnant over 2 years ago)
The only time I was skinny was when taking the wrong kind of supplements as a teenager.
I enjoy reading the posts here as more people seem to have same problems as me - not like the 'miracles' in diet mags and tv shows.

All the advice I can give is - you are the one putting the food in your mouth - you have no one else to blame.

Apologies Liz Clitherow; I understand now that obviously slim people do think about food 24/7 just like me, morbidly obese, and I accept whole heartedly that I am the one who has no self-control and lazy. Unfortunately I don’t talk about it in public and no one knows I’m a member on this site and I will from now on watch what I say here. Thanks for correcting me and good luck with your weight loss and health programme.

JRM,thanks!

I would like to thank Jane as well.

I am well aware that I am overweight - but deluded I am not. I have skinny friends who think its ok to follow fad diets, I'm not saying everyone does, but faddy diets can be just as detrimental to your health as being obese. We are all on this site for one reason and that is to make this a healthier year for us all whether that is like me, have just under 9 stone to lose or 5lbs - it doesn't matter - what matters is that we are all trying to change our 'problem' areas. Not helpful to be told I'm deluded. I'm overweight due mainly to portion size - not everyone is overweight because they eat too much. There are other reasons why people are overweight or even underweight due to medication, under active thyroid blah blah blah. I don't have the medication excuse but think before you lump everyone who has a weight problem as being greedy.

Hiya
Im glad to hear you are okay Sue. The big thing is are your sweats becoming even more lose?

For today I'm borrowing your alien theory - only thing mine are into mind control. They made me do .... (fill in your own blanks). My ***** other half. He had to bring out a TIN of Xmas Roses from hiding. I didnt even know they were in the house. GRRRR so with his birthday at the week end and the 2 big handfuls of choccies, Ive only put on 5lbs this week! Why arent I sticking - this is where sticking would be a relief.

It is interesting though just a couple of bad days (well 4) and not only has the weight gone the wrong way, but Im sleeping badly and feel lethargic and ill.

That is an interesting dichotomy I now discover. I felt good the other day, happy controlled, positive.

I don't now.

I'm scared.

Scared that I've relaxed too much and I won't be able to get a grip again.
Anyone else had that feeling - you know the recidivism start here? How did you break it? How do you get the balance of not beating yourself up but not letting go completely.

The other day I was feeling it, today I'm running scared, confidence evaporated - or more like drown in a sea of chocolate.

Pennance for lent anyone?

Okay, pennance only if you recite five hail mary's, run for five miles (non-stop) and repeat after me 'Cadburys roses are bad, evil, put on this earth to test our resolve'. Just joking but not about the running haha.

I know how you feel though. The fact that you feel ill proves that the diet was doing you good. So you had a few bad days. That doesn't mean you have to stay bad. Don't be scared. Just resolve to get back to the place where you were previously. See this as just a blip.

But there are worst things to drown in than a sea of chocolates. And what a way to go, with a smile on your face!

So keep your humour up, get positive again and if you want help to stop eating those chocolates you can send them to me. Of course I wouldn't eat them. The very thought....

Hello All.
I so don't know how to use this site, I didn't realise there was a second page so I missed all of your lovely posts!

1 The reason for starting this thread was to vent my feelings using emotional truth and intellegence so that I could be honest with myself and not cling on to excuses and self delusions.

2 The reason for not locking it is because it has touched a nerve in some of you and it helps.

I do not expect to come back to sarky comments. We are all here for a reason. There are enough people out there to beat us up about our shape/size/colour/haircut etc. Don't do it here. This is supposed to be a supportive environment.

Ok.

That said, Hi all. Once again Ive been hiding because Im not getting back on track.

Giving up alcohol for lent lasted 3 days - prior to that I hadn't had or wanted a drink since 2nd Jan but as soon as i 'gave it up' grrrr. Fortunatley I've run out of Campari and tonic and am not going to buy any more.

Chris, thanks for the bottle, I havent looked at how that works yet but thanks again.

I've stayed off the topic of exercise because I struggle to spell the word never mind anything else. Beside dancing like a maniac which is great, I haven't realy found anything i want to do and life is too short to do something I hate. Have any of you found urban trekking with a friend?

Our version, is find a posh area - walk around the streets at a brisk pace, chatting and looking in in their houses, deploring or admiring their taste. You don't notice an hour going by.

Did any one see fat to skinny on Tuesday - where do you get those boots/trainers that help you to exercise your bum? I'm sure when I was a kid they were called negative boots.

Anyway I'm with Steph - gradual changes, adding exercise to the mix would over power me and doing too much, trying to be 'perfect' in one fell swoop is a recipe for failure.

I'm good all day at work but as soon as i get home Im eating chocies. What have you all done to reduce your eating time? When I was being very good participating in this forum helped. Sitting here for an hour or so absorbed me, I drank water and read posts. Proving that occupation with positive people supports us in our endeavours. (At pres back in front of the TV).

Cadburys Roses are bad, evil, put on this earth to test my resolve.
TV bad, evil makes me eat Roses!

Nite all.

Just a thought - perhaps you are actually converting body mass to muscle through the exercise you are doing? It does weigh heavier, so you won't lose weight, just get healthier!

Our version, is find a posh area - walk around the streets at a brisk pace, chatting and looking in in their houses, deploring or admiring their taste. You don't notice an hour going by. Even better. Find a rough area but dress up first so you look affluent. Then when the muggers approach, run like hell! (just speaking tongue in cheek, obviously). I used to do a lot of walking with a neighbour and I loved it but unfortunately the neighbour was bringing me down with tales of woe so I stopped walking with her. I would get back from the walks well exercised but completely depressed and drained.

Lesley, you may well be right there but my exercise program has been consistent and I don't think I am building up more muscle.

Brenda, what is it about TV watching that makes us nosh? I think it is something about being in relaxation mode and unwinding from the day. Luckily I love carrots and celery so I can nosh on them to my heart's content. I don't think it matters what exercise you do, be it dancing like a maniac or urban trekking.

Sitting here for an hour or so absorbed me, I drank water and read posts. Proving that occupation with positive people supports us in our endeavours. (At pres back in front of the TV).
Turn your TV off now and get back to posting!!! (and don't forget to send me the chocs).

Hi Sue
just wondering how you are getting on? like you, for my first month on 'the club' i was religiously counting cals, even gave up alcohol to lose weight, and i didnt shed an ounce!! became really depressed about it, so i know how you were feeling earlier on in this thread. anyway, have gone back to weight watchers and would def recommend it. initially surprised at how much i can eat and how much variety, much better than cals, though points system is based on cal counting, just seem to be able to eat mpre and earn bonus points for exercise - great!!!
My weight loss has been the slowest of my life!! still feel disheartened as all the time i have been a member on here, weight loss to date has only been 4 measly pounds! Grrrrr. still half a stone away from the goal i set myself to reach for valentines day!!!!!
still, feel like i am on the right road now. sorry for ramblingh, main point of this message was to say know how you feel and maybe ditch the cals fro weight watchers? and anyway, do you need to? you dont look like you have lots of weight to lose
good luck anyway

Hi Catherine

It's really tough when we seem to be be doing everything right but nothing shifts. I suffered this for over 2 years then a bit of a health scare and a close look at my activities helped me to see small ways of making changes that began to make a difference. It's tought to realise that a few 'esxtra's at teh weekend could wipe out any good work during the week. Bu I had to face facts. My body no longer uses the energy in the same way as it did when I was 25/30. So I have to change and cut back.

Sometimes it can be worth 'changing something' about the way you eat/exercise as your bordy can get used to the pattern (albeit a good one) and you can kick start metabolism. For me it was converting 3 meals a day into 5 (same calorie - though I dont count them as such- intake just spread out) and did the same with exercise. If takking an hour out for gym (2 hurs including travel dn changing!) seems too hard, make three 20 min sessions at home, walk/run/weights count. Each time you raise your heart rate your metabolism will work a little bit harder.

Keep strong, mentally, becauise it will start to work, but it is often harder to see results when it is a small amount of weight, especially if you turn fat/flab to muscle. 4lbs. isn't measly. Go pick up two large bags of flour/sugar or a couple pof dumbbells and carry them for a few minutes. Then put them down - you'll realise how significant that 4lb really is.!

I try and see the overall picture as a 'health' benefit and also pay more attention to clothing feel (I need a new belt already and according to NEXT, now need size 8!!!!!!! skirt/trousers which is madness. I an 5'4 and weight 10st. 30 years and 2 stone ago I wore a size 10/12

I could start to rant about clothing sizes but won't here. Keep the faith. You ARE succeeding.

Hi Catherine! I have lost a grand total of.... a pound!! BUT I am told I look slimmer and I am keeping up with the exercise and healthy eating with just the odd lapse. It is my birthday today and I know we are eating Chinese tonight, no doubt washed down with some nice wine.

Have I been disheartened? Absolutely have. Have I been tempted to give up? Not a bit. I am still going to the gym most days for a 30 to 45 minute workout following by a 45 minute swim. I am staying motivated.

I don't have a lot of weight to lose which is maybe why the progress is so slow. This forum is great and I have received some good advice/ suggestions from people. One theory was that I am in starvation mode and hence why my body is hanging onto the weight. I wouldn't discount that but as soon as I increase my calories my weight creeps up and if I was in starvation mode I would surely feel hungry and ill and lacking in energy. I don't. Someone else suggested the weight loss isn't showing on the scales because of the exercise, muscle weighing more than fat. That made sense.

I know a few people who are doing WW and the points system and it seems to be working for them.

So stay motivated and positive and, above all, patient.

Thanks for your kind comments re not looking like I have lots to lose. I think I look okay from the shoulders up and the bottom down, just a surplus of middle aged spread that has settled on my stomach!

Edited to say, I have just seen Carol's post and the comments:
I try and see the overall picture as a 'health' benefit and also pay more attention to clothing feel
I totally agree with you. Despite the scales barely budging, I feel healthier, have more energy and my clothes are looser. That is what keeps me going and keeps me motivated. I also agree that 4 pounds isn't a measly loss.

Have just read through this thread, first time visitor!
We people have to stop analysing every thing we do or eat. My new philosophy? Exercise because I want to, eat healthly and hope for the best. After years of trying and obsession (to little or no avail) I have just signed up for an allotment and to do the Ribbon Walk for breast cancer care in June. Hopefully this will take away the pressure of monitoring every little thing that goes in my mouth. No I am not loosing weight but neither am I humiliating myself in public or beating myself up for not getting to the gym enough. I am doing my best as we all are. Be kinder to yourself...not by eating more cake!! but by forgiving yourself your weaknesses!!

Be kinder to yourself...not by eating more cake!! but by forgiving yourself your weaknesses!!
I am allowed to eat cake today. It is my birthday!!!!
I have to say, I had two hours in the gym today with a friend. We had a great workout, lots of chatting and then a lovely swim and steam at the end. I came home feeling fantastic, energised and healthy. That is what it should all be about. I know the old me who ate badly and drank too much would not have had the energy to do all that exercise. For sure I am doing something right.

Well done Sue, what a lovely positive way to spend your special day. And a very Happy Birthday too. Hope you still have the puff left to blow out the candles. 21 is it?

Hehe at Carol and thanks for the good wishes. I wish it was 21!!!! No. I am 47 years young today.

Happy birthday sue! hope you had a great day. thnks for your support and kind words, it was very encouraging! hope you enjoyed some nice food and drink.

Carol, thank you too for your kind and supportive comments, am going to find 4lbs of sugar when i finish this message. could def join your rant about clothes sizes

Ani, welcome! wise words. its hard to be rational about weight and v easy to be too hard on yourself, but you are right.

thanks everyone, v kind, love the times health club and all the support from the kind people

Belated Happy Birthday Sue.

Even better. Find a rough area but dress up first so you look affluent. Then when the muggers approach, run like hell! (just speaking tongue in cheek, obviously). _ Love it!

Hope all you guys are keeping the faith (cos Im not but starting again as soon as I finish this piece of chocolate).

well it is a long time since anyone posted on this thread, but what a good thread it is, so very honest.

i am trying, very seriously, to eat more healthily, not just within my points limit (as a weightwatcher) but to be eating fresh foods and more fruit and veg than anything else.

quite interesting that having just returned from thailand where we had an absolutely brilliant time, i soon got back on the crisps - yes low fat etc but are they healthy? whilst away my partner -who is a dorrito fanatic- and i only shared one bag of crisps in two weeks. makes me think this is more and more to do with my mindset than anything else.

wish i could think like somebody slim eg not about food. they don't bother thinking about it they just eat when hungry etc. and yet i have a very busy life so why do i focus so much on food? not sure, but it seems like it may be an escape so i don't have to think about other things. not that anything really bad in life at the mo, but perhaps my way of switching off?

anyway i am really going to try and just eat the healthy stuff - am not buying crisps etc so wish me well.

and yes we do all know that to lose weight we have to eat less and preferably move more - it sounds soooo simple, but i don't think it is that easy because they forget to mention the mind in this equation which i think plays the biggest part by far.

i hope this makes sense, i don't think i will read it back because i have just typed it as i have felt.

good luck everyone at least we can all understand one another.

HI ALL try the bodypump class class weighttraining all he ladies love it at my gym tones the legs bums/tums ,you cant get in for the ladies if donybook early follow by spin where you even get to sit down gives you the best of both worlds in 2 45 sessions worth at least 2 small cream eggs....

Hi Brenda, have you found any answers to this dilemma yet? Would love to know as know what you mean!

Wow, I've just re-read all of this thread I started long ago in January. I found it really interesting and entertaining.

I've been away done nothing good so put on weight. Coming back today I had the best laugh for a while.

As per my target, I have 8 days to lose 68lbs (and that was before I put in my new weight). How depressing is that? Has any one calculated how much weigh they have lost in their life? I dread to think.

I'm trying to get back to all of the things that I did right and helped me to eat healthy and address my weight on here. Any words of wisdom for Queen Recidivist here?

Yeah; our unofficial motto in the AbFab group forum is: 'Never give up; Never surrender!'

Throughout the last 6 months, we have all at one time or another fallen off the wagon. But, with each others support and even occasional gentle chastisement, we get right back up, dust ourselves off and give it another go!! We believe that you only ever fail if you totally give up trying.

So come on, jump back in with us and give it nother bash!!

You can do it and the support here will help if you let it!!

Good luck and best wishes.

Simon