Am I the only man who thinks rock hard flat abs belong only on blokes.

I think a bit of a stomach is quite cute, after all what is a belly on a woman?

It's a soft, warm, hairless (important that), comforting, gentley pulsating squidgey mass that you can rest your head upon after a hard day fighting hoodies and avoiding bearded asian men on the tube. Plus if that area is hard and muscled it's no fun when tickling or planting your lips upon to blow into to get a cheap laugh.

Ladies by all means lose the weight and get fit etc. etc. but don't tone that belly too much - there are some of us who like it just the way it is!!!

I think you've just made a lot of friends, Imran.

I agree. A lot of females base their objectives on what they perceive are mens' preferences. Most men like a feminine, shapely tummy and most women try to avoid them like the plague. This goes beyond a health and fitness related issue.

Imran you're a star!!!

yes imran well done for pointing that out..wish girls would listen!

for so many years when i was younger i was told men prefer curves and women not to be too skinny or too muscular/hard..and spent ages trying to achieve an unachieveable goal..i wish i could go back and tell my younger self to get on with enjoying life and to listen to and accept the compliments..to accept yourself the way you are..not to give yourself to much of a hard time...be happy in your skin..

Oh to have the figure i had back then!!!...nowadays its more about health and fitness than looks..

Yep - There's a scene in Jacki Brown where one of the characters explains the beauty of a small belly on a lady!

Does my belly description match Tarantino's? I bet he doesn't use the word 'squidgey'!

Michael, I think most woman base their objectives not on men's perception, but rather on what other females are seeing and thinking about each others figures. My partner may say to me all the time that he loves me how I am but hey, at the end of the day if the woman sitting next to me on the bus looks at me as though I have an extra michelin tyre on my waist then darn! I am going to feel like crap and want to look like a super model just so I can look better than that woman who has just made me feel so small and ugly but then there's always the other side to that were one will just want to comfort eat. It's a vicious circle

Su

I take your point. I was speaking from my experiences, though, and a majority of my personal training clients are more bothered about what the opposite sex thinks of them. It's the same when I train men who want to put on a lot of muscle on their chest, arms and back. It's because they want to look good for the girls. You do have a valid point, though.

Michael,

It's another point of view isn't it. I guess how we look to others varies on where in life we are as well and who we want to 'impress' or how we would like to see ourselves. As for your clients who have achieved muscle in their chest and arms. Did it do the trick in impressing?

Imran I think I love you!! Not only have you boosted the morale of probably every woman on this site, but in another post you owned up to eating 1/2 a cake in one go (busting the preconceived idea that it's just women that would emotionally eat like that).. There's nothing like an honest guy to get your spirits up. Thankyou!

Imran

Thank God I'm not the only one who thinks this!!!

My wife always gets coy when I put my hands on her stomach or stroke her belly - she's not fat, she's not got a "beer belly" or anything like it - she's just got a lovely soft mound and I love it...I hate the completely flat,rock hard stomachs that you're talking about - it's not at all natural....So ladies - don't be fooled by the magazines and the adverts.

Su

hee hee. I'm not too sure. I think the male clients may have had the same misconceptions as to what most women find attractive!

Aren't the psychological aspects of this subject just as fascinating as the physical elements of exercise?

Imran, would you like to marry a 48 year grandma? I do happen to be married already mind you, but don't worry, I can cope.

esm xx

I think you are referring to the Butch/Fabienne scene in Pulp Fiction, not Jackie Brown....

Fabienne: "Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it."

No probs! I did feel quite emotional when eating that cake. After going without carbs it was like a man dying of thirst plunging into an oasis

Carbs, carbs just cannot do without them! look at that Dr. Atkiens. He's passed away now. No doubt he would have had really smelly breath with all that protein. Not so great for pulling lol. Bring on the carbs and enjoy I say! Imran, half a cake? was it only a small cake?

Michael, it's not only facinating but also intriguing to know how lifes pressures can pull us into seeking the perceived body perfect when in reality our partners see us as being perfect enough without having to look like a supermodel. But then again, with this life's pressure if we are not happy with our own selves then we think out partner's are lying haha. You know how it is. 'Does my bum look big in this?' scenario. Yet, if we were told 'you look great' we think 'you're lying' but then if we are told the truth, 'yes it is a little bit big' then all hell breaks loose haha. Just a thought.

If the cake was from Chockywockydoodah, then Imran, I salute you.
I developed my belly over a couple of years. I find rich food and good wine work best and if the gain slows down I simply invite friends over - a great excuse for more indulgence and gluttonous showing-off!

I'm getting my bike out.

I've been following this for a couple of days, and I think it's great! Imran, you sure know how to make friends fast! I do have what Trinny and Susannah would describe as " a bit of an issue around the tummy area" but not (in my opinion) too bad. No dig at T and S intended - my point being that if you accept your basic body shape, (within the bounds of staying healthy) then just dress to flatter, and everyone's happy!

Incidentally, going off-topic a bit, (but you all seem v lively and full of good advice!):

They turned the heating off at work today and we were all freezing cold. Does this do anything for the metabolism? I know that before an arctic expedition, they 'fatten up' as they use up so many calories keeping warm. What percentage of our calorific intake goes to keeping ourselves warm, and how does this change when it gets chillier?

Q: What do you call a belly dancer with a sword?

A: A veiled threat.

lol if anyone is a belly dancer dont be put off :]

Yes, but remember there are bellies and there are BELLIES.

I have a little bit of a rounded tum, which i've always been bit self concious of but past boyfriends (and my current) seem to love it! It's always being stroked, and the whole soft/squidgy/comforting thing has been mentioned lots...So i'm def not doing too many sit ups! Have joined gym tho and i'm sticking with more of the cardiovascular stuff.
Good luck everyone - hope it's going well!

Has anyone been watching "How to Look Good Naked"? Gok who presents keeps telling all women to embrace their feminine figure, we are supposed to have breasts, a slightly rounded tummy etc. The problem occurs, well at least for me, when we reach an age when it is more difficult to lose the extra pounds we put on over the holidays etc. My waistbands feel too tight and I don't want to go up a dress size so the alternative is to lose weight!

Models are thin and tall because the fashion world needs a standardised human mannequin to drape it's creations on - I am not saying they are universally unhealthy but their bodies clearly don't reflect how the average woman looks so why would people want to aspire towards that?

Because these women (and film stars + pop stars racing to lose weight) are plastered all over the media - but this of course is all common knowledge.

The reason someone like Angelina Jolie consistently tops various sexy lists is because she has had (until more recently) the curves + boobs and most probably a nice tum as well.

Imran

You are right, the fashion world and the media do present this image of the tall thin woman as the perfect image but it does not reflect the reality of most of our lives. The "size zero" contrevesy is an example of that - how many models and actresses have eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia? Or turn to drugs to keep their appetites surpressed.

I want to lose weight so the I feel fitter, not to please anyone else. My partner likes my curves!!

Naomi, Gok is Queen! I don't know any women who don't want to be Goked lol. And I'm like you, I also want to get fitter for myself only.

We need more normal sized models!!!

Su you are so right. BTW in the February edition of Woman & Home there is a competition to be syled by Gok - and appear in W&H! Lead me to it. Packing up my desk now to go home and cook a healthy dinner!

Excellent Naomi, will have to get myself a copy.

OMG I never thought I'd find myself getting excited at the thought of a Woman and Home magazine! I normally rely on Heat for my fashion/health advice/diet tricks/role models . . . Thanks Naomi!

Did anyone hear the interview on Radio 4 last night about the Singapore 'athletes' training for computer game competitions? People DIE!

I have always had a round belly and no amount of dieting or exercising will shift it (I swim every day). But this is the first time I have heard anyone say a bit of a belly is sexy. Please make my day and say a well upholstered and less then pert arse is perfect too.