I certainly know how this feels. I find this stage of the school holidays a real test of my will power. Apart from the constant desire to run away from home, my sleep pattern is always totally bizarre however hard I try to preserve it through the holidays and the stress of going back to work is already starting to build added to which there are always financial worries at this time of year. Hope you're feeling more upbeat soon (whisper it quietly - exercise in the fresh air does help)

I've been catching up on all your posts and this teenage talk makes depressing reading! I've got a daughter of 11 who really does get stroppy for no reason at all and a happy go lucky son of 7. All these nightmares are to come. I even teach teenagers but I can see that the ones that I teach are angels compared with what my own are like. I say no in school and they accept it, at home I get nagged about 10 times before she gives in! Still, she's currently a sweetheart when we're out so I can't complain.

BTW am I right in thinking you're a teacher Jean?

Jean sorry to hear that you feel low. I also hate school and uni hols and can't wait for it to end. I would recommend any time out and exercise. Having just been for a run I feel great or will do soon!

Jaki
Teenage girls I have 2 nieces start being stroppy with Mums from 11 onwards and will push you to the limit. I have boys who are different all together but test you by going out and not telling you where they are. One now at Uni so I have given up worrying! My 15 year old is lovely when out but a bit grumpy with me. Think back to how you where>??? and try to recall how you felt. Don't let her get to you !

We were comparing notes with 2 other couples over dinner at the weekend in relation to the awfulness of our teenagers and we all agreed that other people commented on how lovely/well behaved our kids were to them. Well I'd rather it be that way around, we all tend to hurt the ones we love without meaning to - it's an outlet for our frustrations. And just like the sleepless nights and potty training they all grow out of it, just in time for you to worry about going off to uni, finding the right job, moving in with the right partner, getting on the property ladder, being able to have children...............................
Oh yes the last phase you went through was sooooooooooo much easier than the one you're in.

Just caught up with this thread - My eldest got AS results and has proved what a lazy arse he is - got A for art, D for music tech, and failed Media and Performing Arts. All of the written work he's submitted ( or failed to submit) was of an appallingly low standard.
Have just had 'words' about the way he is so quick to critisise others and is so opinionated, but is a complete lazy whatsit who expects us all to run around after him. He also can't be bothered learning to drive, despite the fact I've paid for his insurance for this year!! GRHHH!
He wants to go to LIPA (Liverpool Institute of Performing Arts) to do Music Technology but unless he does some work he hasn't got a hope in hell!

Daughter has just turned 15 and at the moment (touch wood) things are pretty reasonable - phew! doing the Moonwalk together definitely brought us closer and kept the communication channels open.

Sue
Gosh I know just how you feel! My now 19 year old did no work for AS then had a shock and retook in second year just scrapping into Cardiff a year ago by calling them to ask them to take him which they did. He passed all module this year with good grades but one so has had to spend the summer writing about Post Modernism with us nagging to then deliver the work to Cardiff uni in person. We are waiting for results to see if he will stay on despite the fact that we are paying rent on a house there! Meanwhile he has opted out of family life completely unless it suits him or we pay and went to Reading Festival and will go to another in september. I find it very difficult as he is like your son arrogant and quick to criticise and wind up his brother aged 15 who like your daughter is lovely and finds it all a bit much. Other people find him extrovert and great fun but I just find him annoying and can see faults in him which come from me!

On a better note perhaps your sun could up the D in Music tech probably and an A in art is good! Perhaps he needs to rethink where he goes...!

I am so glad I don't have kids - I think I've already said that somewhere on here!

My nephew's just finished 2nd year at uni and announced that he had been put on the Dean's list for bad behaviour. This was a total wind-up as it means that he has consistently achieved above a certain % across all his subjects!

He's a great kid - really good fun and knows how to party with the best of them (like his mother). However, he's also very determined (like his father) - worked out what he wanted to do, and knew he had to study and get good grades to do it. Hopefully he'll get the good job he wants and will be able to keep his old auntie in the manner to which she'd like to become accustomed

It's a pity not all youngsters can see the big picture - one day they may regret not getting the finger out

My son, now in his forties, did little or no work when a teenager yet still managed eight A passes! He was told to leave his Academy because of his behaviour and went into journalism. As I have mentioned before, he is now a Sports Editor on a national newspaper. All hassles do pass, but at the time, they are the pits! By the way, he turned out to be a lovely son although he left home whilst still a teenager and is a great husband and father. So, hang in there ladies, it does get better!

Having slated my eldest yesterday, he got on with some work today (not much, but it's a start) and helped me with the shopping. I really enjoyed his company and he was a sweetie! That often happens the day after we've had 'words'!

Now that is a positive comment! THere must be a lot of good hiding in there.

I found that since my son left home to join the RAF, we get on a lot better. It has made him grow up one hell of a lot. Sometimes in the rural areas there is not a lot for them to do. Theres not a lot of work either. Theres a fish factory which we both used to work in, but that was more like a slave labour camp. The pay was naff, they treated you like ****, we found that it was the imigrants that were given most of the opportunities. Am glad that we have both found better jobs.
Must also admit since I left home and got married (23) years in October, we have got on a lot better.

Sue
My son is always lovely after we have words so agree with you on that one. Sometimes they don't like to hear what you say as you are usually right! Things have got better with Son No 1 since he went to Uni what I would call a slight truce!

No - I used to be a school librarian but two years ago (sore point don't ask) I swapped to doing departmental support work in the same school. Confidence (not great to start with) took a huge knock and although I've been looking for alternative work (I'm a professionally qualified librarian) I've not had much success (couple of interviews but no offers). I'm not good at interviews my lack of self-belief is too evident.

I've been cat sitting for my MiL this week so haven't had internet access I've just popped home today for some clothes and to check my emails.

Son has been offered a place at De Montford Uni to study artificial intelligence so he's making progress. Hubby had to go and pick him up from where he's working last night as he broke his ankle. You've got to love them!! However he has gone out with a friend so I haven't seen him to talk to.

I'm sorry Jean that you haven't had much luck in your current job. At least you've had the holidays to have a rest. Departmental support work isn't easy. If you're with pupils, that can be very hard work. Your dept doesn't sound very nice though as when we've had people to help us in our Maths dept we have been so grateful for the extra hands in the classroom or help with all the admin. As you're a librarian you've obviously a very organised and efficient person, so it's obviously the school at fault.

I've got two week days left till Inset I'm trying to think of some exciting things to do with the children before it's back to the grindstone.

OH HAPPY DAYS

According to today's regulators and bueaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived because...............

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint, which was promptly licked and chewed.

We had no childproof lids on medicene bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets, and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flipflops and fluorescent 'clackers' on our wheels.

As children we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or airbags - rising in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from a garden hose and not from a bottle, and it tasted the same.

We ate dripping sandwhiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop with sugar in it, but we were not overweight because we were always outside playing.

We would share one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went at top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nefttles a few times, we learnt to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play ally day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us all day and no one minded.

We did not have play staytions or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on tv, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, and no internet chat rooms. We had to find friends & we went outside and found them.

We played elastics ans street rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuites. They were accidents. We had to learn not to do the same thing again.

We had fights, punched each other and got black and blue, we learned to get over it.

We walked to friends homes.

We, aso, believe it or not, WALKED to school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, whether it was just around the corner or a mile away.

We made up game with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and although we were told it would happen, we did not have many eyes out, nor did the live stuff live in us forever.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats only by the hood.

Our actions were our own. CONEENQUENCES were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!!!!!!!!!!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, sucess and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're one of them. Congratulations!!!!

Pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as real kids, before the lawers and govermmfent regulated our lives, for our own good.

For those of you who aren't old enough - thought you might like to read about us...

So pleased Nick son No 1 is going back to Uni in Cardiff 20 Sept having passed his module in Post Modernism he can now continue to do Philisophy. He is v pleased and will enjoy himself at the End of the Road
Festival in Devon next week.

Does anyone else have happy news?

Good to hear things are going well for your son.
My eldest is working down on the Isle of Wight at Bestival for a week - lashing down with rain and gale force winds tomorrow! Hope he'll wear waterproofs and peg down the tent well! Brrr!

OMG is he in a tent down there? Our experience of camping in gales was a disaster - tent lasted night but whilst we were out the next day 4 out 5 poles snapped!! I was so glad to be back in my own bed in 4 solid walls!! Otherwise camping is fabulous fun when it's fine and sunny!!

Sue
I am sure your son will not even notice the rain or weather conditions if he is like my son. Good for him working. I hear it is a great festival.

Jackie I so agree with you about camping - once camped in Cornwall and the rain came in and we had to give up in the night and stay in a hotel. Since then I have never camped! I think age has something to do with it now I like a good bed!

Yes, he is in a tent! He's got waterproofs and good boots though. He says the mud is worse than Glastonbury 2 years ago, and that was bad! Maybe the Isle of Wight will get washed away? He'll be fine - a hardened festival goer - went to his first at 9 months old!

We once slept through a torrential storm whilst sleeping in a tent in the South of France! When we got up the next morning, the whole site was flooded and the place was a quagmire! A very kind Frenchwoman took us into her caravan and fed us with crepes whilst everything dried out

Tom has just texted - it's raining so hard at Bestival he's had to dig a trench round the tent and they're sitting in a bus and can't get out!

... and I bet he's having a great adventure!

Update
Son No 1 has returned to Uni so all quiet at home. Son No 2 seems to be coping with final year of GCSE's so the Cotton household is calm!

SSSHHH! Don't speak to soon Pippa!

Our eldest was threatened to be kicked of his A level course last week if he didn't do any work! Seems to have done the trick for the time being!

Sue
Threats are good. I feel for you dealing with this at the moment and hope that it resolves it self. Explain to son that working is jolly hard so school should be the preferred option.

Thanks Pippa - he's doing loads outside school, getting involved with film projects, setting up a rural recording studio, and so just needs to sort the written work out, and he'll have a good chance of getting into the college he wants. He seems to be determined at the moment (well this week anyway!)

Good to hear. Have not hear from uni son but do not expect to so he must be ok in Cardiff. Younger son is now not eating? Not sure why think he thinks he is fat at 15 and 5ft 10 still growing. I suspect he might be snacking after school.